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Notable Quotable #120

My grandmother lives alone. she is very old, very happy and very Catholic. Once, i was told that after having her first thirteen children she took a little break for three years until her village priest told her to get on with her “duty as a woman” while she was still good.

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Notable Quotable # 119

We signed our CDs, of course, and shirts and posters too – usually with a black or silver Sharpie. But we also signed: phone cases, sneakers, reading glasses, Bibles, passports (You know this is illegal, right?), purses, faces (please don’t get that tattooed), armpits, puppets, babies (please don’t get that tattooed, either), feet, shot glasses, teakettles, security blankets, breasts, and once, a guy’s penis (it was not erect).
And one time, in Santa Barbara, Brian signed a girl’s anus.
Everyone was impressed.
I asked him to please throw that particular Sharpie in the trash.

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Notable Quotable # 117

The old man is… If your principal and your sternest grandparent had a child born on the last day of summer before school starts, and that child grows up in the moment you realise you’ve been caught filching a cookie from the jar. In other words, he exists simply to remind you of all the bad things you’ve ever done, all the things you’ve ever failed at and all the mistakes you will ever make.

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Notable Quotable # 111

The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes and undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious.

  • Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins, pg. 1 (first sentences of the book)jitterbug perfume